Today slept at bbie's house eat at mac and took the plaza sing tiong bus back.
(deleted a paragraph because it just ruins the post ttlly.)
Hey dear boy,
I know that i have become very hard on you and i know you know that i won't give you chances anymore(ykw)
and it's not like i don't wanna but i just canna.
I really hope that this time you would treasure what we have and the chance i gave you cause this has been happening the upteenth time and the whole cycle keeps on repeating.
Break. Forgive. Promise. Break Promises. Forgive. and on......
Today i felt like it's been a very long time where we enjoy ourselves.. no doubt we didnt go anywhere fancy. Thus i thought of writing a post for you.
We just stayed at your house and watched kdrama tgt..eat bao and played with ksongs.
Maybe i will feel in some part of my heart or mind that you could do better than this.
But on the other hand, you atleast improved maybe not alot, but abit.
And i should be happy that you made a lil bit of effort to atleast try to keep to your promises and not lie.
I know it's hard but i really want you to know and believe that you would not need to resort to lying to me cause you are etc, scared to tell me things, thnk that i wouldnt try to understand you, or even think that will get angry.
But i just want to feel that you trust me and that you are comfortable with me to tell me anything you want to say. I mean isn't that what a gf/bf are there for?
Doesn't it mean that when you are together, it's because you enjoy the company and feel right for each other?
I really hate to think that you think of me as just a girl you need to impress so that i can see you in a good light or just some girl who you want to hang on to just cause of sake of having a gf.
Want you to know that i will try to understand and i want to be there for you for everything.
Small thing big things, i want to be your friend and let you talk it out with me.
I hope you would really keep to your promises and wont ever have to find yourself in a situation where you would even have to thnk of lying to me or keeping the truth from me.
No matter how hard and cold i seem on the outside, it's rather the opposite of how i'm feeling inside.
During the past year, i have learnt to control all my emotions and just kick you to the far end of my mind whenever you do smth wrong.
I really hate that feeling but i dont have a choice sometimes..
I wont ever ever ever hurt myself again because of you. Cause i've been there countless times.
But just to let you know even thou i say that i still really really love you alot.
Thankq for all those times you would walk all the way to my house just to deliver food for me at 3am cus i was hungry and being patient with my punctuality and trying to do all you can to make me happy.
I'm really happy and feel blessed that you would do these for me.
(AND MUST CONTINUES HOR PLS)
I just really hope you can do your o's well and be more stable..not be so childish in your actions anymore and pamper pamper pamper me more k(cus i didnt have any pampering for 1 year) !
(SEE THE WORD PAMPER NOT?!)
Chus woaini, A aka Bebe.